Tuesday, October 13, 2009

joel marcus

dear joel marcus williams,

you have demanded that i write another blog but i have absolutely nothing to say. i'm sorry to disappoint you.

Friday, July 24, 2009

my second post... duh

bad news... i can't think of anything funny to say. my mind is full of serious things, not bad things, just serious things. that happens sometimes. i'm sure you're shocked/disappointed.

i feel like i owe you something though so here it is:

today i was having a lovely little fchat convo with one of my favorite people, aubrie vaughn aka the queen of the world. we both agreed that we hoped that michael jackson was in heaven. aubs said to me, "i would love it if when i get to heaven, right after a riveting round of how great is our God, to transition into billie jean." there it is, aubs vaughn everyone. actually, i could go on about dear old aubs for hours if you let me. she's the one who gave me the wonderful nickname, coach, which in her mind eventually evolved. it went something like this...coach-coachie-coachie coacherson-coachness-coachstina. don't even get me started on coachstina, it's my least fave, but duh. i was given the special blessing of crossing paths with good old aubstina this last weekend. it was life changing, but it really always is. she told me about a charming little establishment called "wet willies" or is it "wet willy's" i'm not really sure and it really doesn't matter. apparantely it is the one place that can fulfill all of your dreams of having a slushy mixed with a little bit of liquid sin(alcohol). obviously, i wouldn't go to a place such as this considering the fact that it would remind my of my past real bad. but those of you who are interested in playing with fire this place is not only a bar, no no, it's much more than a bar. i mean, it is a bar, but it is also a party and an institution. they even make shirts that say that. it's true, if you don't believe me you can look it up. i think a shirt like that would be a nice little souvenier for maybe a college kid on spring break. like it's one step up from an airbrushed shirt that says "daytona beach" on it. it's just something to consider.

OH! i almost forgot, ryan dau started a blog too. ryansblogduh.blogspot.com. check it out. it's very three thousand and eight. i can't promise it will be appropriate. actually, i guarantee it will not be appropriate.

oh and i found out today that i'm not allowed to mention my place of employment in my blogs. that's too bad because i'm sure i'll have a lot of stories from that particular place. maybe i'll think of a code name for it. oh well, we'll see.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

here you go

first of all, you must know that i never had any intentions of starting a blog BUT i have like 4 myspaces, 3 facebooks, and a twitter so i figured it was only right.  i mean, i am the world wide web.  i am public domain.   the reason i am writing this though is because a couple of years ago i wrote a weekly newsletter called "the cortez chronicles."  this news letter was very successful, and by successful i mean my friends thought it was funny.  but hey, the people loved it and i need to give my fans(friends) what they want.  this will probably be the easiest way for me to revive the dearly beloved cortez chronicles.  i can't promise that it will be in any way awesome but i'll do what i can.  i don't claim to be any sort of a decent writer but strange things happen to me on almost a daily basis so i'll do my best to share these experiences with you, my fans or friends, whatever.

*expect lots of grammatical errors.  basically if it's not for a grade it's not going to look good.  i won't be capitalizing anything with the exception of God, AIDS, and NASA.